All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
