MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize