i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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