Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
