I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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