I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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