i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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