I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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