PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
