Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
