saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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