Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
