remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
