Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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