Life is so much better after having sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
