Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I didn't shave. On purpose
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
