there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
