do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
