he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
