Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
