It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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