That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
