I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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