Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we're making bets on your personal life
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
