I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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