May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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