There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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