I look better un-naked...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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