guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
