i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
home. puking in laundry basket.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The adults are the big ones right?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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