You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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