If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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