after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Michael Bay diarrhea
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
