Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
