Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
