shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
