I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
