addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
