i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
