haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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