I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
