I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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