I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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