Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This baby is an asshole
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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