my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize