Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
