I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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