i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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