I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
