Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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