Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
