She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
