i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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