Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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