it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
