Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
