did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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