The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
