Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
