Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
