New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
